Thrifty Finds

I have always been a big one for op shops, garage sales and second hand finds. There is something about the thrill of finding an item that you value in amongst other people’s unwanted goods! By shopping this way you are also doing your bit for the environment, we don’t need any more hard rubbish clogging our earth and as they say, one mans trash is another mans (or women’s in this case) treasure.

Anyway, I digress! I really just wanted to share with you a couple of my super finds this week! Ta da!

Margret Fulton Cook Book, Fashion Unfolding - Design and Fashion and Awakening the Buddha within (total= $10.00)

Vintage Bookcase ($10)

Apricot - a trip down memory lane

As a very visual person, I fell instantly in love with Apricot, a short film by Australian Film-maker Ben Birand. I have watched it many times over and it still has a wonderful effect on my senses. With its beautiful cinematography and themes relating back to childhood, summer time and first love you will not be disappointed if you allow 10 minutes of your time to immerse yourself in this beautiful film.



APRICOT — A Short Film by Ben Briand from Moonwalk Films on Vimeo.

Words glorious words

Kaleidoscope twittered about this fantastic site that identifies the words you use the most! I had a go and was quite impressed the outcome. Click on the image below to see it in full size.

What are you tolerating?

I have recently started an 8 week personal foundations course with Coach U. This course is designed to help me clean up my life, to be the best person I can be and to become clearer about who I am and therefore where I am headed.  Just as a house must be built on a strong foundation to avoid collapsing under stress, so must your life.

Tolerations are the first area we are delving into, in particular identifying them and then zapping them. Tolerations are the things that you put up with every day that distracts you from the important things in life.  They can be as simple as cleaning the fridge or as complex as creating a savings plan. They are the things that are on your mind but don’t get done for one reason or another. They are energy zapping and hold you back from achieving all that you really want to achieve.

Some benefits of being toleration free are as follows:

• You stop trying to manage situations that drain your energy and really do not need to be in your way
• You have more energy to devote to your quality of life and to work on the things that are important to you
• You grow more quickly because you are not distracted or weighted down by your tolerations
• You are a model for your community as to what is possible for them in this area. 

So how do you get toleration free?

Well you can start with a very simple exercise that was introduced to me by Leah Grant. Leah suggests that the first step in zapping your tolerations is to find out what you are tolerating.

One way of doing this is by taking a note pad and walk around your house. Be extra observant and write down everything that bothers, bugs or just doesn’t sit right with you. Sit in your car, your office or anywhere else you spend significant time and do the same thing. Then move onto your 5 closest relationships and do the same thing, look at yourself, are you happy with who you are? Keep listing your tolerations until you have exhausted the process. For some of us this might be quite overwhelming, but don’t fear, there is a manageable way to zap these tolerations with out feeling overwhelmed.

The next step in zapping your tolerations. Below is a list of 8 steps to help you with this process.

1. Understand that putting up with things in not useful to anyone.
2. Make a list of the top 10 things you are tolerating from your original list
3. Make a request and take the action to eliminate these items
4. Understand that you are “stunting” your personal growth by tolerating things!
5. Be willing and committed to being toleration- free
6. Stop complaining: instead, make a strong request
7. Invest $1,000 to handle the talks/chores that pain you
8. Do steps 1 through 8 above, again….and again….if necessary!   

(The Coach  U personal development workbook and guide, 2005)

When we create space in our lives, we create more energy! More creativity shows up, we have expediential growth…so get moving and zap those tolerations!

The happiness flow chart

Some times we forget how simple life can be. Sometimes we get caught up in the detail instead of seeing the big picture. I love this happiness flow chart for its simplicity and directness in finding our way back to happiness, or not. The choice is ours.

Happy Friday.... I'm feeling good

This clip combines two things that I love, music and design. It has been put together beautifully, creating a wonderful motion video using a wonderful song....I hope you enjoy it as much as me!

Is music noise, or is noise music?

What a great use of space and objects to create something so inspiring and beautiful.

The late Ron Urquhart on the Power of "Just Being"

My post today is in honour of an amazing teacher and great leader, the late Ron Urquhart. Ron touched so many people in his time here on earth and his knowledge is hopefully still being past on. This is a long post, but I urge you to take the time to read it, Ron has some poignant messages that I am sure will touch you as they did me.

Glowing phoenix ... or smouldering moth?

by Ron Urquhart

Once I spent time in a jungle monastery in Thailand. I found myself there to learn inner peace, the gifts of transcendence and to become wise beyond my years - not much to ask for really, I thought. After all, that's the stuff monks do: they become wise and peaceful - it shouldn't be that hard to teach me to do the same.

How wrong can a fat westerner be? It wasn't peaceful at all. In fact, it was downright hard work, getting up at 3 am from a hard rattan mat on a bare wooden floor to sit in meditation positions that my western legs just couldn't maintain.

The peace was replaced by pain, my meditation was hopeless and, to make it worse, they didn't teach me much at all for the first week or so. I just had to do hard, totally meaningless work, carrying logs from one place to another and back again, sweeping constantly falling leaves from endless jungle pathways and, even though I was a westerner, I had to sit at the back of the group like an ignorant child during dharma sessions each evening.

The only time the abbot would even talk to me 'one on one' was on alms rounds each morning. I was a successful businessman, a man of respect in my community, a spiritual teacher to many, but here to even get some basic questions answered I had to scurry along beside him like some lapdog.

It was humiliating, and then even the questions I asked about masturbating my way through celibacy and how to speed up the enlightenment process seemed to be offensive to those around me. The frustration with this new life was growing on all levels. Even when I learned how to overcome the physical pain of sitting for an hour or so without having to stand up, they didn't notice, didn't once congratulate me and no-one helped me unless I had to grovel to them for assistance.

They obviously didn't understand me I thought, if they only knew how spiritual I was compared to most westerners they would take notice. I wanted to run away; actually I did leave for one day and then returned with my tail between my legs.

The world, that only weeks before seemed so normal to me outside the monastery had already changed. It was even worse than inside the monastery. People were loud, unskilful in action, rambunctious and uncaring, and although they did take notice of me, it was because I was a business man or a westerner or to get something from me. It seemed that the relationships outside seemed based on what I did, or what people could gain from me, rather than what I was as a person.

Who was 'I' after all?

Something had changed. The 'me' that had suffered through interminable meditation, listened to convoluted dhama teachings and asked all the wrong questions, and knew exactly how right I was and how wrong the others were, suddenly floundered. I felt out of my depth. Who was 'I' after all? The part that sat and meditated and hurt, or the part that found peace in the vastness that existed beyond the pain; the part that sat and judged, cajoled, tried to win approval and wanted to run away, or the part that watched it all happen from some distant place and knew that no matter what happened it would be all right in the end.

It seemed as if every time I flew closer to the light of peace in meditation or in the fleeting seconds between thoughts, when sweeping or just being, a new me was being born. The conflict was immense.

I desperately sought calm and wisdom but, like a moth drawn inescapably to the flame, the closer I got to my goal, the more I burned in the fire of resistance and confusion. One part said it must hurt to get to this space, the other part said this space is within you right now. I wanted quick enlightenment, but instead the closer I got to beginning to understand, the more confusing it became.

I left the monastery then - 'the discipline was too restrictive' my ego argued, unnecessarily harsh and seemingly ill considered rules. 'That Spartan lifestyle wasn't really for me anyway', said the judge within. 'I don't need to sit lost in the jungle away from the rest of the world to find peace', the warring parts of me screamed. So I left, not quite like the phoenix rising from the burning embers of samsara or illusion to the light of spirit as I had intended, but changed nonetheless.

For almost 15 years i wandered from culture to culture, tribe to tribe around the world learning, teaching, seeking enlightenment, all the time with hand outstretched for 'them' to give 'me' the wisdom. Like the moth to the flame I was constantly burned by my ignorance. My ego self rebelled, I always knew better, or more, or felt insignificant in their presence, or felt rejected, or felt special, but always separate.

It was 'me and them' the student, the teacher apart, 'more' or 'less' knowing, depending on the role I found myself playing. Sahamadi, the awkward gift of awakening, still eluded me. I wanted to be a glowing phoenix of light but was still little more than a smoking, smouldering moth; burning away my beliefs bit by bit each time I touched that millisecond of knowing.

No correct pathway to the truth. It wasn't until much later I realised that the gradual and often painful burning away of each layer of belief of each instant of separation was the light itself at work. 'The way' considers that there is no correct pathway to the truth. The truth just is. It's beyond the words, the dharma, the brightest mind. It's the 'is' that is within each of us in the space of knowing which lies between the thoughts of 'me' and 'them'.

You are, as I am, on the right track right now, today, this instant. If we act skilfully it's the right track, if we act unskilfully it's the right track.

We all have our path home. For some it may take many cycles of life and death before we open the door, for some just a few

Who is more advanced, less advanced, who has lived more life experience or more spiritual experience? How many have come back specifically in this life to learn the lessons of false gurus, or of trying to win by harming others so they need never return again? Who can say that the path sweeper who cares for all life and his community is less spiritually aware than the chela monk working his asanas day in and day out in the monastery surrounded by beauty?

We choose each life to fulfil the lessons that must be learned before we can get off the wheel of life and death. If we choose struggle, so be it. If we choose hatred, so be it. If we choose compassion, so be it. None better nor worse, more enlightened or less enlightened. Our journey to enlightenment is to assist all sentient beings whatever their (or our) level of spiritual awareness, toward the light.

I once held a wounded 7 year old 'guerrilla soldier', given by his parents to the war effort in Burma, and watched him die. I cried and abused the soldiers, threw their guns in the dirt and spat at them. Trapped in my emotion and view of what was right and what was wrong, I saw only through western eyes, saw death as the end, and felt the fear within me around my own death. All this, from the luxury of knowing, I could go back to a country without a single bomb dropping on me, to a house and the security of those I loved. As if I knew what was 'right'. What audacity.

Who am I to say that that child did not have the right to perhaps release himself forever from this cycle of life and death by coming back one last time as a child soldier?

Now with hopefully more insight than those drama filled days I see that we simply play our part, that it's all just what it is: Lessons, illusions, shadow games we play out in life on a level that we believe to be real.

'The way' is the teaching that all of it is real - and none of it is real; the duality of life that began the moment we were torn from our God (in whatever for s/he took to us). The moment we took on our identity of 'me' separate from 'God', we entered into the collusion with illusion game.

Our sense of separateness, better/worse than, more/less deserving, more/less advanced, and so on, is what purifies and burns each time we fly into the flame of truth. With the many passes through the fire of knowing in every lifetime we hurt and burn off just a little more unskilfulness, until, instead of setting complicated physical and spiritual goals that we hope will assist us to fly toward the light, we recognise we are in fact the light itself. We no longer need to seek - just 'be'.

The street sweeper, the business person, the mother, the dying child - the instant we can remain in the present moment, beyond thought, at one with the light, the godliness that radiates within, not having to be clever, or all knowing, or powerful, or special, but just to be what we are truthfully and honourably in that instant, to give our natural essence of love to all beings in that instant - it is at that moment that the singed moth becomes the glowing phoenix of light - the light being we call Jesus or Buddha or Mohammed or any of the great teachers who walked this earth. At that moment we are one with the truth, and at that moment, the singed moth realises its true beauty.

'Procrastination' - We all do it!

This is a wicked animation about something we all love to do - Procrastinate! You will no doubt enjoy the irony as you take four minutes to watch it when you should be working on your next blog post, writing a proposal or doing an assignment.

Procrastination from Johnny Kelly on Vimeo.

Faith

Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.

Dan Millman

 

Music and the authentic self

Music would be in the top 3 conversation topics in our house. We often debate about who was the best Beatle and what our top 10 desert island disks would be. This topic of conversation has a lot to do with my wonderful and very creative boyfriend Ian who has been involved in the music industry in different capacities for the last 15 years. I can safely say that music is his life long love. I am not unhappy about this; it’s amazing to be exposed to new music almost daily without having to find it for myself. It’s also wonderful to listen to his musical creations and share his excitement when he has completed a new project. I am a little spoiled to tell you the truth.

I am inspired when he talks to me about music, his eyes light up and you can hear the happiness in his voice. He is one of the lucky ones; he doesn’t see what he does for money as work as he is doing what he loves! I acknowledge that it’s not easy to find work that you love. I mean work is work, the word itself is seen as somewhat negative, but we all have choices, and Ian decided a long time ago to follow his passion and create a working life that reflected his authentic self. 

Is your working life reflecting your authentic self?  Does this matter to you?

Where are your listening ears?

Listening, as an extrovert is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. However over recent months I’ve made a conscious effort to practice the skill of listening. The way I see it, listening holds incredible power and I’ve recently began to discover why….

I was sitting in the board room, at a weekly management meeting with the usual suspects in attendance. Rather than getting caught up in the usual exchange of conversation, which generally never results in any major outcome anyways (this isn’t being negative, it’s the truth), I instead decided to observe the behaviour of a particular manager, and the style in which he engaged, or in this case, failed to engage with his team. The Manager, a highly extroverted and vocal individual had an ongoing tendency to cut off his staff mid sentence. The worst part about it is he’d ask them a question, and before they'd even get a chance to answer, he would bluntly cut them off. It’s quite ironic given the manager is regarded as an excellent communicator within the business. One could probably not argue his ability to articulate highly complicated bits of information, and his ability to think and respond quickly on his feet. Undoubtedly this manager’s verbal communication was a major strength, but whilst I was in the meeting, what had occurred to me was he rarely listened to his team. At which point I scribbled on my note pad:

Listening = Connection = Trust.

Without trust in the workplace, there’d be no business. No major deals were ever made without some sort of trust cultivated. Would you pay anyone big bucks to provide you with a service if you didn’t think you could trust them or the work they did? And what about the manager in this case? Would our meetings be more interesting and inspiring if he really listened to his staff? Probably yes. The point I’m trying to make is that through the process of listening, ideas cultivate, build and grow.

As you can probably imagine, this story is all too common in the workplace. Competitive or combative listening, or the way I’ve described it in the past, ‘ego’s at play’, is the type of listening that happens when we are more interested in promoting our own point of view than in understanding or exploring someone else’s view. We either listen for openings to take the floor, or for flaws or weak points we can attack.

So how do we become better listeners?

Through active or reflective listening we are genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is thinking, feeling, wanting or what the message means. And it it’s only through active listening that we become better listeners.

Here are some ways we can listen more effectively:

Eliminate outer distractions – Giving someone your full attention is very important whilst listening, so tune out from all that is going on around you and make your focus on the individual only.

Eliminate inner distractions - Turn that voice off in your head and don’t allow your mind to wander. Work on your presence. By being present your focus will be outward and not inwards.

Pay close attention to body language - and in particular the face and hands. Watch for non-verbal cues giving suggestions as to how the spoken information is to be interpreted. Also be mindful of your body language. Your eye contact is key to good listening.

Listening to tone – will allow you understand the persons emotional state beyond words. By listening to tone we are listening for ‘what isn’t being said’. Through tone we can learn a lot about the individual like their culture and their values.

Resist the urge to respond or react – Silence is powerful. Let the words communicate with you freely. They are not free if you are already deciding what you're going to say.

To listen effectively is a powerful skill that can be learnt and practiced. You will gain more respect and esteem through listening rather than through talking. So take more time in your day to listen to people. You will be amazed with the results you get.

The power of listening

The wise old owl lived in an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard:
Why can't we all be like that bird?

Edward H. Richards

This beautiful owl is made by a Melbourne based artist called One Red Robin. I am lucky enough to own one of these little beauties…she is one of a kind and I call her Dorothy. You can check out One Red Robbin's work here: http://oneredrobin.com/

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

I was having a conversation with my business partner, Ana, last night. She brought up the issue of the inner critic. We (Ana and I) are in the start up phases of our new coaching business, Jumpup. It’s a very exciting time! We are both extending ourselves greatly and learning lots. Along with the excitement and wonderful feelings of doing something we truly love, we have noticed the voice of self doubt that occasionally creeps in. Ana was kind enough to share with me her methods of handling the inner critic and I in turn have shared some of my own.

1. Surround yourself with believers
This is not just your parents and other family members; whilst these guys are a fantastic cheer squad it is the people in the same industry, your network who really believe and understand what you are doing. You can find these people everywhere; you just need to know where to look. Try Facebook, twitter and other blogs. They are out there! Also don’t forget to be a believer for someone else!

2. Respond positively
One of the keys to managing the inner critic is to respond positively. Change the flow of the energy and answer it back with a positive spin.

3. Write a letter
Disarm your inner critic by writing it a letter, tell it to go away, give it a silly name that makes you laugh when it appears in you mind. This will take the power away from your critic.

4. Learn
Your inner critic often points out areas of weakness in your life. When this happens, note what the inner critic is saying and take effective steps to make some changes in your life.

5. Challenge
When you start to doubt your actions, ask yourself, what would happen if I just did it? What is the worst thing that could happen and what is the best thing that could happen? And lastly, feel the fear and do it anyway!

We all have an inner critic, what are some ways that you manage yours?

Creative inspiration

The creative talent in this world never ceases to amaze me. I find so much inspiration in seeing others showcase their talents and acheive recognition for it. I have a great appreciation for how much hard work, time and energy this young man must put in to perfect his craft....simply amazing!

That anxious feeling

I am sitting in my back garden writing this post, it’s Sunday, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, it’s very relaxing really. Life is not always like this, there are times when we let worry and stress get the better of us, we are time poor and task heavy. One of the things I have been working on lately is managing my anxiety levels. I want to acknowledge that anxiety comes in different forms for everyone, for me, it is when my chest tightens up, my breath becomes laboured, and my thoughts race and I begin to feel out of control. This usually happens to me when I become overwhelmed with my workload, I feel pressure to perform and I let my thoughts run wild. It’s taken me a while to get to the point where I recognise this and for me that was one of the biggest things with learning to manage it.

4 ways to help manage anxiety

Recognise what drives your anxiety
The first step in managing anxiety is to identify the specific situations that are making you stressed or anxious and when you are having trouble coping. One way to do this is to keep a diary of symptoms and what is happening when anxiety occurs. It is also helpful to identify any worrying thoughts as this can lead to finding ways to solve the specific problem that is of concern. When we have a clear view of what drives our anxiety, we can determine if it’s worth holding onto.

Challenge your anxiety
Now that you have recognised what it is that is driving your anxiety it’s time to challenge it. Take one or two of the worries you have written down and ask a few questions of it.

1. What is the worst thing that can happen?
2. What is the best thing that can happen?
3. What strategies can I put in place to manage this anxiety?
4. What advise would I give a friend in this situation?

Awareness is the precursor to relaxation. Take note of what is happening in your body when you are undertaking this exercise; be aware of how your body and mind reacts.

Learn to relax
Relaxation means different things to everyone. Understanding what it means to you will help you manage your anxiety and find your perfect way to switch off and let your mind and body release built up tension. Different relaxation techniques are as follows:

Exercise

Regular exercise will help to reduce anxiety by providing an outlet to let off stress that has been built up in your body.

Write
Get your worries out of your head and down on paper. It’s amazing what writing a list or a journal can do for my
anxiety levels

Meditation
Take time to sit quietly with yourself, turn off the television, take the phone of the hook, find a place where you wont be disturbed and breath deeply, notice the thoughts that come into your mind and then let them go. There are many different forms of meditation, you can purchase self-guided meditation, attend meditation workshops, learn from a self-help book, or simply create your own meditation.

Create lightness in your life
By creating lightness in our lives we let go of stress and worry. Creating lightness is not as hard as it sounds.

1. Engage your ears – Listen to soothing music, Enjoy the sounds of nature – birds singing, waves crashing on the beach, wind rustling in the trees
2. Laugh – Don’t take life so seriously. Laugh at yourself and with others. Laughter is a wonderful way to alleviate tension and stress
3. Reflection – Take time each day to reflect and be grateful for all the good in your life, you will be amazed at how good it makes you feel to focus on the positives.
4. Let go of your responsibility for others – Understand that you are not responsible for other people’s thoughts and actions. Take note that where other people are in life is exactly where they need to be, don’t judge them or try to make them do it differently. By letting go of the need to feel in control of others, we create more room in our minds to focus on what is important for us.

These are just some ways I have found useful to mange my anxiety, what do you do you find helpful?

Laughter is the best medicine

If the pressure is getting to you, take 4 minutes to watch this, it will make your day!

Remember When You Were A Kid?